Just Marlee

Since we have church at 1 this year, I find it pretty easy to wait until Saturday night to prepare my lesson for YW's  the next day. I l.o.v.e. teaching these girls. When I'm prompted to ask the right questions, or share the stories/scriptures/videos it feels like the girls may need to hear-great things come of it.
Tomorrow our lesson is on repentance. It seems as if we cover this topic a lot. With our new teaching curriculum  we are able to choose which lesson we feel like would fit best out of quite a few. I, for some crazy reason, decided to read over this lesson.... Even though I feel like sometimes this topic could be related to "beating a dead horse". (seriously? who came up with that saying? it's horrible.) Anyway, after watching one video from the outline, I was sucked in.


I love that we have the opportunity to repent of things we do wrong. I've been horrible at asking for forgiveness from every day things for most of my life. Until I was older, I really thought repentance was only for the 'big' things. So I'm sure I have a list a mile long (or about 18 years long) of things my Heavenly Father is waiting on me to repent of. That's kind of scary, huh? Not really. HE knows my heart. I'm so thankful I have that opportunity.
I took family for granted a whole lot growing up. I knew I loved them, but did I really try all that hard to like them? Not enough. Now that I have a little family of my own, I am so grateful for forgiveness. I would literally give anything for them. Even my pride in the mistakes I make and the judgments I pass.

  I love them

And one thing I've learned is because I love them so much, I push my pride aside and get things taken care of that need to be taken care of.
By no means does this make me feel like "the bigger person" and in no way am I a shining example of what every person should be. I am just Marlee. But I know I'm a daughter of God and that he's rooting for me. And that, a long with repentance, makes this life a whole lot easier.

Sweet Boy

 My sweet guy turned one (a few months ago *ahem*) and I thought it was probably time to blog about it. :)

We had a nice big birthday party for him at our house with all our loved ones. Jared was totally spoiled, as usual.

 We had a punch box for the party favors (pictures are kind of out of order. sorry!)

 Lots and lots of gifts!

 Jareds first cupcake! ... Which he hated!

 Abby being... Abby :)

 Lots of balloons, whats a party with no balloons? 

 Hot coco- It was FREEZING that day. Of course, because I planned an outdoor birthday party.

 Ms. Sarah's fabulous Tostada sauce.

 Sweets, sweets, and more sweets. ^This mix is to.die.for. It always goes fast when I make it.

And our crazy little family.

We LOVE having Jared in our family. Just a few days after his birthday party, he learned how to walk. He still mostly grunts for every. single. thing. He makes us laugh all the time and every time he's in trouble he flashes his dimples. 

We are so grateful for our family and friends that came to help us celebrate! We love y'all! 

Dare To Stand Alone

I was sitting here finishing up my lesson for tomorrow and came across this video. I love it so much. There have been a few times in my life that felt so much like this; where I felt like I was standing alone. It was in the moments after that I realized that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ were standing right there with me, giving me the strength to stand and the courage to speak. I'm sure you all know, I am LDS (Mormon) but it really doesn't matter what religion you are, this still applies to you. Keep your standards high, be courageous in truth and others will respect and love you for it.

Music

I love music. This will come as no surprise to those who know me well. It was always funny to me during my pre-motherhood life when people would ask me what kind of music I liked. I literally listened to everything. e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. And I loved most of it. Pre-motherhood I was always buying cd's, downloading music, and searching myspace. I was an addict. And I loved it.

Motherhood hit and I learned the sweet sound of silence. No really. I'm sure (most) mom's would agree that when you get extra mouths to feed, your need to fill the silence diminishes. I find myself (even tonight) getting in the car by my self to go out, picking out a really good cd, pulling out of the driveway and realizing 20-30 minutes later that I never even turned the music up. Silence is indeed golden.

I've had many a "background theme song" in my day. You know, that song you just really connect with? I remember those songs, exactly how they made me feel, and why I connected with them so well. Want to know my "background theme song?" Yup, you do. Phillip Phillips "Home." I love it. So upbeat. It's one of those roll your windows down, keep the beat with your hand, bust your vocals kinda songs. I love it. Every time I hear it I think of "Claire" in Elizabethtown. If you haven't seen the movie, I'll let you borrow it. I have a deep love for this movie. I'm not even sure why... It's not the best movie ever made, but guess what? It has some great music!

So this "Home" song comes on in the car and I immediately think of the free spirit, let stuff roll off your back, Claire. (In her red hat. That I love) This song makes me so happy. I know 99% of you reading this are probably thinking this song is outplayed, overplayed, or dumb. If you think it's dumb, go away. If you think of the others, stop being so up-to-date with music. Have some kids or something!




Get it. Love it. Roll your windows down and play it.

Broken

I keep reading all these news stories and watching all these video clips from people who were effected by the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting. It will be a day remembered for the rest of my life, as well as millions of others.

I hate all the attention that the killer is getting. I feel like we shouldn't even put his name in the news. What's the point? I really feel like the kids, teachers, parents, and families should be the subject of our thoughts. The real life heros. 

I'm so heartbroken for the families. For the past two days, every time I get a silent moment with one of my kids, I cry. I think of how hard it is being a mother but I would never give it up for anything because it is the most rewarding calling I've ever had. I love my kids just as much as those parents who lost a child loves theirs. I know that my sorrow from "What if's" and things does not even compare to the heartbreak they are feeling.

This is one of the many trials that I'm not sure I could live through... But I hope these people will continually turn to their Heaven Father for comfort. He loves us so much. I'm so grateful of the knowledge I have of eternal families. It must help heal knowing you will see your children and be together with them again one day. I'm so grateful for my family. My kids. My husband. I'll be forever thankful that I get to have my family for an eternity if I only live faithfully. It's tragedies like these that help you realize what's important in life. 

Heaven as a few more sweet spirits back and I'm sure they were greeted with hugs, love and tears. My only hope is that the families left behind find some comfort soon.    

 twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38

when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.

they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

when what to their wondering eyes did appear,

but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.

then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring

those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,

one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

and as if He could read all the questions she had

He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below

He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,

"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"

"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

then He and the children stood up without a sound.

"come now my children, let me show you around."

excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.

all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,

"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Confessions.

I haven't done my confessional in quite sometime. So here we go.

Confessions of an Unbalanced Woman:

1. I love the idea of getting great gifts and making great gifts... But I always procrastinate and then it's crunch time and I hate it. I'm working on that though. Already way ahead of where I was last year.... but still behind. 
2. Paul got his Christmas gift(s) early. An xbox, and two dumb games. I hate the games. He's not allowed to play them in front of the kids.
3. I was supposed to be on this strict diet so that I'd have a hot bod (or something close to it) by next Saturday when Stacie does our family pictures. hwejhtkljryuki
   Oops. That was me wiping my Oreo crumbs off the keyboard. 
4. Abby drives. me. nuts. I wanna beat her and hug her all at the same time. Especially when she comes out of her bed 10 times asking for a headband.... because she can't remember that it's called a band-aid. 
5. I hate to mop. Mopping is so dumb. And then I moved into a house where 85% of the floors are tile. That, my friends, is an epic fail. 
6. I yell at my kids. Dumb. I hate it. It's a knee-jerk reaction. Sometimes I yell at my kids and realize my tone of voice and I'm embarrassed for myself. This is going to be a new years resolution. 
7. My kids are seriously awesome. Thend
8. I almost gave in and bought a fake tree this year. I h.a.t.e. fake trees. Not the way they look, because you really can't tell. It's all the fluffing and assembling and lack of smelling. Blah. We have prelit garland above our cabinets and I already loathe it. This is the first year we've had it. 
9. I really wanted to send out this picture (see above) for our Christmas Cards... But I couldn't even count on one hand the people that would have judged me. Moty for sure. So there. Now I get to pretend that it was my Christmas Card. 

That's all for today. 

The Sweetest Boy I Ever Did See

My sweet baby is ONE! It makes me so sad to say that. I don't know what it is about my kids getting older that makes me so sad because I love them more (almost) every day! 

Jared is such a sweetie. He has dimples to melt your soul and and belly laugh that will make even the grumpiest person smile. 

Some fun things about Jared:

• He has 5 teeth now! The last one just came in after his birthday. Yay for slow, painful teeth! :/
• He weighs 21 lbs..... aaand that's all I can remember.. (moty)
• He walks! He thinks it's so fun to walk around with a toy/phone/remote control in hand. He walks best when he isn't walking towards someone who is cheering him on. Otherwise, he gets too excited and biffs it. :)
• He says mama, dada and makes a variety of other vowel sounds trying to say other things. He also is an expert in the language of Caveman. 
• Jared has a teeny temper tantrum that makes me laugh. His sad faces are the saddest and it's so hard to resist scooping him up and kissing his face! 
• He LOVES his mommy and daddy. I love this so much. If either one of us are gone for more than a couple hours, he is SO excited to see us when we come back. 
• Best of all, he loves Abby to death. He's her little shadow. He lets her tackle him (if he is well rested), love on him, tickle him... If she wants to play with him, he will play any game she wants. 

We are so blessed to have Jared in our family! I can't imagine our family without this crazy kid. 

Just a small note..

Today I took Jared back to the doctor to get his eye checked. A couple weeks ago, we had his tear duct probed because of a blockage that had been there pretty much since he was born.
A lady walked in with her (totally awesome) sit-n-stand stroller with a baby inside, a toddler walking beside her and a dreadful monitor in tote. A stinkin Apnea monitor. When Abby was a baby, she had one of those for 3 months. I struck up a conversation with her and found out a few things:
Her son with the apnea monitor was not a baby in that car seat, he was 2, and he was born with a very rare disease. I cannot remember the name of it, but he doesn't have all 10 fingers and toes, he was born with his skull already fused in placed it was not supposed to be, so his soft spot started right above his nose and went all the way back, he was born with every one of his organs were a mirror image of what they were supposed to be so he had an immediate surgery to flip all of them. All of them!  At the time I was talking to her, I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her how awesome she is. So positive. I was just shocked. Then we were called back to the doctor and honestly didn't take much more time to think about what happened until I put Jared to bed tonight.
I was nursing him and thinking about this other baby and how spectacular that mother is. I'm SURE she has her hard, frustrating days. Especially after we shared stories of the monitor going off and freaking us out. She's got some tough things on her plate.
During this period of my life ((Motherhood)) I go through ups and downs all the time. And it never, ever fails that when I need it most, I'm reminded of how blessed I am. Yes, my kids are a pain in the butt sometimes. Yeah, I'd really love to run away for a weekend by myself sometimes. But dang I am so blessed. My kids are completely healthy. They have no ailments holding them back from anything. Abby is so smart and funny. She makes us laugh so hard at some of the things she says and does. Jared is so cute and growing so fast. He's learning to walk and talk. They both are pretty evenly tempered kids and pretty easy going most of the time.
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm bragging, because that's not what I'm doing at all. I've just been hit square in the face with what matters in my life. My kids, my husband, my family. There is nothing more important than raising my kids. It's the best calling in the world and I have it so much easier than a lot of people. I wish it was easier to remember how blessed I am when I'm in the dumps of parenting. That's the biggest reason I like to record these moments on here.
I love these babies of mine. I'm so blessed to have them!

New

It's about time I updated about moving..
We moved a few months ago back to my home town. I'm not sure how we ended up here, but so far it's worked out pretty well for us! We l.o.v.e. our new house (we bought) and we're having lots of fun (( slowly)) doing fun things and projects in it.
Growing up I couldn't wait to get out of here. And for the first couple months I didn't like being back very much at all. Driving through town would nearly bring me to tears thinking about all the good and a few bad memories that happened here. I had to make a decision to make new memories  with my new family, which are almost always happy, and it's worked! I can't say that I love living in this town again, but I do like it.
I'd forgotten how quiet it is here. For about a month it was too quiet for me. Then last month I heard sirens and it took a few seconds to connect what that was in my brain! Seriously! It'd been so long since I heard any. When we lived in Arlington, sirens were like the background music track to my ever day life.
We do miss city living though. It was so nice being within an arms reach of every store we could possibly need. And we miss our friends and our ward. We had a really great ward. Our new one is sure growing on us, but it's been a rough transition. Abby is liking nursery again (woo!), Paul is teaching the 12-13 yr olds Sunday School, and I teach the in the YW's (Beehives).
Hopefully this week I will complete a couple more projects and then I'll post pictures of the new house.
That's all for now. I'll be back soon!

JARED IS TEN MONTHS!

 10 MONTHS!! 

Weight: 20.10 lbs (50%)

Height: 29 1/4 in (50%)

  

I've been avoiding posting (and being lazy about posting) because every time I think about how big my little guy is, I can hardly stand it. This little boy has completely stolen my heart. He is learning so much! In the past few weeks he's learned how to crawl! I really thought it would never happen. He also pulls himself up on everything and is now taking the chair pictured and pushing it around while walking! This is a huge accomplishment. This poor fella didn't even know his legs could move until about a month ago. They were just limp limbs that got in the way of everything. 

I love his sweet personality. He knows how to make us smile! Really all he has to do is flash those dimples. Holy heart breaker. If we say "Come here, sweetie!" When he's sad, he crawls on over with his big ol pouty lip and snuggles you. He's still sensitive and sweet. If I tell him no with any kind of force the poor fella breaks down and cries. Then I wanna break down a cry. He's got the sad face down to an art I tell ya. 

We love having him in our family. He's getting so much better about sleeping through the night (THANK GOODNESS!!!!). He goes from 7-12 and nurses then 12:15-7. Its a great leap of awesomeness from a month ago when he was still up every 2.5-3 hours (most of the time). 

We've started the big ONE birthday plans! Hopefully this little sweetie will stay sweet for the rest of forever. We LOVE you JARED!